The week after our brave Navy SEALS took out Osama Bin Laden in his compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan we hit the paintball field and cranked up our paintball valves. We were feeling particularly gung-ho with our pro-America anti-terrorist moral incredibly high. After a week of reading about the supreme awesomeness of our Navy SEALS for a whole week at our white collar jobs we wanted to celebrate America with a little patriotic battle reenactment.
I had planned in advance and mocked up a fake Bin Laden Mannequin to be sacrificed to our collective aggression at just the write moment. After a few great rounds of intensive paintball action I paid off some of the course’s staff to play Bin Laden’s guards. They set up inside a little fort on site. It was no mansion in Abbottabad, but it would do. We obviously didn’t have a helicopter and we don’t know exactly what happened but when we charged into that place we might as well have been there. It was a cool feeling.
Then we saw him. The face of global terrorism. We unloaded our paintball tanks like animals. Obviously our men and women in uniform handled things with more grace, less ammunition, and more focus but it was so nice to pretend.
Thanks for the great work to our men and women serving in uniform. You are our national treasure.
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